Sex And Couchsurfing

A recent discussion in a group on Couchsurfing went like this:

A guy: What’s lost in all this talk of “open intentions” is: girls do not usually get into situations saying “I’m looking to bang!” There needs to be… plausible deniability. And many guys prefer girls who wouldn’t say a thing like that.

A woman: men who are looking for sex do not prefer these women who want the exact same things as them, they want to “work” on a woman

A guy: Are you hearing yourself? A man.. wants to “work”?!?
We need to investigate further.
Read More

Expats Take Care

Well, my friend Jayson Heckler who drove down to Oaxaca from the States to Oaxaca with me in 2010 was the next one. Fell and injured his leg and hip. Doc said to go home and stay down. He did. And died.

Barely over the fatigue of traveling…Earl, my friend and escort (he says I am his “chick”) says to me one thursday night walking away from a progressive jazz jam in a small cafe…no rhythm…no beat! I laugh. He seemed tight all night. Then half a block away he says he’s got to get into a taxi and go home. The driver drops me off at my apartment and takes off with Earl.

The next morning he emails me: “I’m scared. My leg went to sleep.” By that afternoon his hospital room was full of his friends.

Long story short he had some blood clots in his leg. Two days later, after a failed angioplasty at another hospital he has his leg amputated above the knee. His daughter who had flown down from Minneapolis, and a friend who was the translator, spent the night with me in case we got a call from the hospital. Desperate for sleep…three times they called. The third time was to find out if we wanted the leg…

Please, jesus and allah, I never want to be in a Mexican public hospital. But I was encouraged by the way everyone pulled together…each contributing help and coordination. I don’t want to be the next one.

Do You Follow Travel Warnings

I read travel warnings and take them into consideration. They are useful if detailed, recent and taken together with other sources of information. But in my opinion they are primarily a cover-your-ass thing. They are used by tour companies and exchange programs for the same reason…to mitigate against extreme criticism and lawsuits in case anything happens to a tourist both of which affects the bottom line as well as reputation.

The reason I don’t rely on them is because I have been in too many places that have received ridiculous travel warnings. In 2002 there was trouble in Kashmir, so the US state dept issued a warning for the entire country of India! We found out that even foreign businesses were ignoring it. We were, however, refused a visa extension in India…we think because of the warning.

There is a large amount of local and expat hostility in Oaxaca where I live because of travel warnings and expats who live here just roll their eyes and shake their heads when they are issued. In 2006-7 there was a popular uprising and yes people were killed…killed by government thugs trying to take down the leaders. An American Indymedia videographer was also killed…by a govt thug. The result was that hotels, guesthouses and other businesses were closed and hundreds if not thousands of people lost their jobs. Mexico depends largely on tourism so alarmist warnings can decimate the local economy.

I was in Thailand during the coup in 2006 If you didn’t know the coup was going on you wouldn’t know anything was happening. Same thing this April and May 2010 in Bangkok when tens of thousands of demonstrators occupied the two high-end hotel/shopping and business districts and upwards of 90 of them died including 4 journalists.

My guesthouse was only a couple sky train stops from the main staging area. But if I didn’t know what was going on I would never have known by just going out to the street. A friend and her husband were staying in their condo just a couple blocks away from the staging area and never saw anything. Most local violence is directed by locals against locals. My guesthouse workers were a great source of info. At least one of them joined the demonstrators every day after work.

I think the important thing is to take responsibility for your own safety by talking to locals, comb the internet travel forums for eye-witness information,  find out who is doing responsible tweeting, which political and personal blogs to pay attention to and read the local press…most countries have English-language news sources. Ask locals what they think of them. It didn’t take me long to know the score in a general way. Probably the most useful thing when you are in a country is to talk to long-term expats. They are probably better sources of information than the locals because they monitor the situation for themselves and usually know all sides of an issue.

And PAY ATTENTION! I was in the Saladaeng business district of BKK as late as 5pm just a few meters away from the military the day they entered it. They were all hunkered down in the overhead skytrain flyways. Everyone expected them to try to rout the demonstrators there but no one knew when. My pharmacist said, come back tomorrow and I will have your meds. I said, oh yeah???!! You could feel the tension in the air. I didn’t go back and sure enough that night and the next day locals and tourists alike were gravely injured in attacks that included tear gas and bullets with more than one local killed.

I follow Thai politics because my son lives there and I go there often so was reading and hearing rumors long before the trouble started. All you have to know is the political history of a country to know when there will be trouble. Most of us know beforehand when we are going to a country. Start researching as soon as you know.

Often an issue will quickly develop into a crisis WHILE you are there…not before, even if you are aware of the political environment as with the two events in Thailand.

I learned my lesson to research when I decided to move down to Oaxaca June 1 2006 although it wouldn’t have made a difference really. I got off the plane at night…got up in the morning in the hostel and went outside to explore. Much to my surprise I found 70,000 striking teachers camping in all the streets of the Centro. I moved into my pre-arranged apartment and 4am on the 14th woke up to gunshots, church bells and helicopters. The municipal police were trying to rout the teachers from their encampment in the Zocalo (central plaza).

This was to be my biggest education about corrupt governments with no rule of law, no economic development with money going into pockets instead, poverty, popular uprisings, history, US foreign policy, and bureaucrats in the pockets of foreign companies and a frightened middle class that I had ever had…first hand.

I spent the next 7 months reading, video taping, taking photos, documenting, witnessing and reporting until the President of Mexico finally sent in the federal riot control police in November who swept the Centro, picked up a couple thousand people off the streets, (not one foreigner) beat up a lot of them and hauled them to jail…raping some. This time, however, we saw it coming and I and some friends drove up to a mountain pueblo for the day even though if you are not participating tourists will be left alone.

No one wants an international run in. In Mexico this includes the narcos who will shoot the marijuana growers and runners if they make trouble with tourists. The locals wanted us out there because it made them feel safer and more difficult for the government to lie…although it did not stop it entirely.

It was amazing how similar the causes, uprising and government response was in Thailand. If you are already there develop local contacts and do some more research. One of the best immediate ways of gauging the environment is by following the tweets of the place you are going or are in.

Editorial comment: I tell people that if they find themselves in a country with upheavals going on for heaven’s sakes, don’t complain because it is “ruining your vacation.” You are in their country and they are in charge of making their history. They are not there to entertain the tourists unless their jobs depend on it.

Having said all that you will hear about the random tourist who will get into trouble.  But to provide some perspective I recommend reading “World’s Most Dangerous Places” by Robert Young Pelton. Here’s what he has to say:

“The United States has a very comprehensive system of travel warnings,” says Pelton, “but conveniently overlooks the dangers within its own borders. Danger cannot be measured, only prepared against. The most dangerous thing in the world,” he says, “is ignorance.” Welcome to Dangerous Places…”no walls, no barriers, no bull” it says in the preface. “With all the talk about survival and fascination with danger, why is it that people never admit that life is like watching a great movie and–pooof–the power goes off before we see the ending? It’s no big deal. Death doesn’t really wear a smelly cloak and carry a scythe…it’s more likely the attractive girl who makes you forget to look right before you cross that busy intersection in London…

It helps to look at the big picture when understanding just what might kill you and what won’t. It is the baby boomers’ slow descent into gray hair, brand-name drugs, reading glasses, and a general sense of not quite being as fast as they used to be that drives the survival thing. Relax: You’re gonna die. Enjoy life, don’t fear it.

To some, life is the single most precious thing they are given and it’s only natural that they would invest every ounce of their being into making sure that every moment is glorious, productive, and safe. So does “living” mean sitting strapped into our Barca Lounger, medic at hand, 911 autodialer at the ready, carefully watching for low-flying planes? Or should you live like those folks who are into extreme, mean, ultimate adventure stuff…sorry that stuff may be fun to talk about at cocktail parties, but not really dangerous…not even half as dangerous as riding in a cab on the graveyard shift in Karachi.

Living is (partly) about adventure and adventure is about elegantly surfing the tenuous space between lobotomized serenity and splattered-bug terror and still being in enough pieces to share the lessons learned with your grand kids. Adventure is about using your brain, body and intellect to weave a few bright colors in the world’s dull, gray fabric…

The purpose of “Dangerous Places” is to get your head screwed on straight, your sphincter unpuckered and your nose pointed in the right direction.”

Right on!!

BTW, in addition to an ice storm in the NW upon my arrival and the tsunami in Thailand while I was there (that almost took the lives of my son and his wife), I am developing a certain reputation and friends are jokingly warning me to stay away from them. 🙂

Prescription Numbers To Consider

While you are pointing fingers at our health care, consider this:

1/3 of all prescriptions by a doctor ever get filled…which means that

2/3 of all people who get prescriptions never even go to the pharmacy

Of the 1/3 of people who get their prescriptions filled…

Only 1/3 will take it as directed

Which means that

1/9 of all prescriptions are getting filled and taken as directed.

Source:  my anesthesiologist son. Don’t know his source.

Meeting My Cervix

Well, this is probably going to mortify my three boys, men now, (well, maybe not the one who is a doctor) but when I went to the gynecologist here in Oaxaca last week, I saw, for the first time ever, at the age of 64, my cervix!  Don’t know if all my previous doctors had seen it either, but it only seems fitting that I get to see it. Too see that tiny place inside my body that miraculously allowed three fully-formed human bodies to stubbornly push through to the light of day. Just before Mother’s Day.  In Oaxaca! Read More

Black Humor

 My two couchsurfers at the moment, bicyclers riding from Vancouver BC to Argentina, went out roaming around yesterday and came upon some street theater making fun of the panic over the flu. Last night they went out with a friend wearing a flu mask with “mieda” (fear in Spanish) written in big black letters on it.

Videos and spoofs are showing up all over the web including Daily Mash and Comedy Central.

From Oaxaca Study Action Group Forum: “In the zocalo about  one in ten are wearing face masks. All the servers in the restauants and cafes are wearing them. Doctora Bertha Muñoz was not wearing a mask. She says that viruses are too tiny to be obstructed by a piece of paper. But when she needed to sneeze, she pulled up the neck of her T shirt over her face to the eyes. The government bulletins recommend sneezing into your bent elbow.

Bertha’s opinion on the flu outbreak was that the gov is holding back info. A thought: does the government have info, or any way to gather it?”

Apparently, the Mexican authorities knew of the existence of this swine flu as early as mid-February but did nothing about it for two entire months. Government officials have been forced to acknowledge as much. Outrage over the Mexican government’s ineptitude has swept the country. On April 29, the Frente Sindical Mexicano (FSM) held a press conference during which it lambasted the Mexican government for its handling of the entire healthcare crisis.

7% of Mexico’s GDP comes from tourism. Tourists are leaving by the hundreds which will devastate the livlihoods of workers who depend on the tourist industry.

Turn Off The TV

My weekly newsletter from Casa de las Amigas, the Quaker guesthouse in Mexico City where I stayed in 2007, has this to say about the current flu going around:

You are invited to turn off the TV, especially those of you who remember Y2K and the Africanized killer bees, and look for news from some lower-gloss sources: The World Health Organization is the most official source for news, as is the Center for Disease Control and Prevention.  For news from here, check the main portal of the Government of Mexico City, La Jornada offers constant, critical updates en español from Mexico City.

Speaking About Toilets

When I was hitch-hiking in Europe in 1965, I came across the bidet…couldn’t figure it out.  Somebody had to explain it to me. It’s an extra “toilet” in the bathroom that looks like a toilet except that it has no water in it and has a little jigger in the bottom that, when you push a button, sprays water upwards and cleans your bottom after you have defecated in the “real” toilet and then you flush.  Many people over the world think Americans and people in the UK are unhygienic because they use paper.

Salon.com: Actually, we’re pretty disgusting, and we just don’t realize it.

We are kind of disgusting. I’m being polite about it. In water cultures like India, where you see all these people going to do their business with a little cup of water, they think we’re extremely dirty. They can’t believe it. Muslims, who have to be scrupulously clean according to the laws of the Quran, also think it’s kind of weird that we have this habit of using paper, and imagining we’re clean. We’re not.

Another thing. When traveling in developing countries, Americans come home wailing about the squat toilet. And actually, using toilets in the first place is physiologically” kind of impeding our normal bodily processes. You actually don’t want to be seated high up on the toilet. That’s not helping your evacuation processes,” says Salon. Read  Salon.com on this most untalked about issue.

And just think of all those trees not to even mention the most polluting of all processes…the making of toilet paper out of virgin wood which is another long subject entirely.

My son lives in Thailand and when he married his Thai wife he introduced her to toilet paper. But she would wind it around her hand a dozen times and they were going through toilet paper like, well, water, as they say. Toilet paper is expensive in Thailand.  I tried to show her how you use less paper if you bunch it up…not wind it…but she still used bushels of it. So now my son refuses to buy toilet paper.  They have a bucket of water that they fill when waiting for the shower to get warm. Then they have a little plastic bowl they dip into the water in the bucket and use that with their fingers to clean themselves…like all the other Thais do who are not as turned off about their body processes as we are.  Of course washing their hands well afterward…like we should all be doing anyway. In India, they only use their left hands…which is why they never eat with the left hand.

Think of it.  Women use about six times the paper that men do. Another reason (I don’t want to gross anybody out) but the best reason for using water to clean is that a lot of urinary tract infections in women are caused by wiping back to front.  This I was told by a urologist in Bangkok. ;- And afterward people put the paper in a basket because the sewer systems here in Mexico can’t handle all that paper.

And another thing about water.  It is the dry season here now and people in the city’s colonias don’t have water.  They have to buy 5 gallon jugs of bottled water for drinking and cooking from a guy who yells “AGUAaaaa” as he pulls his water cart down the street. My apartment has a cistern and water is delivered by truck.  When the “tinaca” (tank) runs out on the roof, it is refilled by pumping water from the cistern under the apartment house  up to the tinaca.  Also, to save water, we only flush every 2-3 times after urination.  As most everyone here says, “If it’s Yellow let it Mellow.  If it’s Brown Flush it Down.

Not such difficult conservation adjustments we can learn from the rest of the world. I feel like a sanitation officer for the CDC after writing this post…or a urologist. 🙂

A Harley in Viet Nam

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June 10, 2004
While I was in Bangkok Bob flew to Vietnam. He wrote to say he had difficulties accessing the web today and spent most of the day traveling.

His emails:
Now in Da lat in the mountains about 300-400 km north of Saigon. It is at a 5000 foot elevation so cool–in fact feels cold. Probably about 55 degrees right now–everybody in a jacket. Feels like central Oregon and after the heat/humidity combo in Hanoi it is quite refreshing. I am at an internet cafe surrounded by adolescents screaming at success/failure with video games. Tiz too much–later.
B

June 11
good morning:
have been roaming around Dalat—much embroidery art done here–quite nice but also can have a hefty price–saw several landscapes that I liked–might pick up a small piece–just to have a representative sample. Bought several pieces in Hanoi–I really like their style of art.

Approached by a fellow this morning–call themselves “Easy Riders”–have big bikes and arrange trips off the beaten track–tempted to have him take me to Saigon via the Cambodian border and the Ho Chi Minh trail–he can also extend things to the delta (and probably to So. America for that matter)–he is 45-50 in age and has been doing this awhile. Am tempted as it would take me to areas I would not otherwise see and I am tired of the usual tourist routes. It would mean 300-400 km on the road and the limiting factor would be the ability of my butt to withstand several days in the saddle..

June 12
Another nice day in Dalat. It is a major tourist destination for Vietnamese—with it being a weekend the place is packed—had to inquire at three hotels before finding a vacancy…in evenings they close off the downtown streets to vehicles and streets/plazas are packed with people just walking and people watching. Not much to buy re handicrafts etc. but wonderful produce — however do not see it offered in restaurants. Am tired of Vietnamese cuisine and am overdosed on French bread.

NOTE: Next few days Bob spent in bed with some kind of virus….Bob worried about influenza-like syndrome and me thinking it was probably Dengue Fever as this is the season for it.

Sat June 18
hello–
Was going to leave Dalat today by bus for Saigon. This a.m. had second thoughts and decided would be much more fun and interesting and educational to do the bike thing. Tried to find my rider (named Budda–because his stomach and somatotype is identical to the icon) but could not arouse him by phone–he probably ditched me for other customers so went down to the local easy rider hangout cafe and there were at least a half dozen of the “boys” there. They start out by being very cool but then the pitch begins . I had experienced it twice before so he (Thui) was surprised when I cut to the chase, “How much for 3 days?”. So to see whether I would be able to tolerate we agreed on a sampler package of a day trip around Dalat. It worked out well–he is safe… informed, understandable (re accent), non-invasive and 48 yr/o–but looks 55 to 60.

Weather turned inclimant and last hour on the bike was wet. Purchased a plastic pancho but was totally saturated at the end of the trip. Was informed that my previous illness was do to too sudden climate changes, that there was no possibility that it could be bird flu because that entity does not exist in Vietnam! I was instructed that on return to hotel that I must wash my hair to get all the rainwater out so that I do not come down with any other ailment(s).

Tomorrow leave for 3 day trip to the coast just East of Saigon–he does not want to get closer because of increasing traffic and I appreciate his concerns. I will travel remainder of distance to Saigon by bus. So depart 8 a.m. tomorrow–I look like a Harley biker going down the freeway. Not sure how we’re going to get all my luggage on the bike but he says, “no problem’. Will not see internet again until Saigon.

NOTE: my daughter-in-law, Luk, a Thai, has also warned me to wash my hair after a rain. She said when it first rains there are bad chemicals in the rain that can hurt you. She could be referring to Acid Rain?
Eunice

Yangshau & Shanghai

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To Bob
When I sent e-mail had not seen your messages. Your place sounds great–will spend a couple more days here before moving on–would like to access your place. gonna run back to hotel to see more of election results.

B
Well, last night I went to Hilton to find CNN..no luck so I circled back to Huaihai via Huanshan. By the time I had turned a few corners I got turned around and then turned the wrong way on Huaihai. Turns out that the hotel is off a section of Huaihai called Central Huaihai…further west it becomes West Huaihai…I walked until I got to the very end of Huaihai…but at least the street was varied and interesting. Walking any of these streets is fun unlike around the other hotel. The Brasil Steak House serving meat like the restaurant in Nairobi is recommended by Lonely Planet is right across the street from the Library…
E

hi again–
Am still in Yangshau and am enjoying it–many canals, shady streets, and less hussle/bussle. Will stay another couple of days then will probably make a short hop to Nanjing for a couple of days–anticipate Shanghai probably Monday–depends on train schedule but suspect there are many–or may take a bus.

We can look into flying to your next stop–do not think we will miss too much unless there is some stop you have in mind en route. I would like to do +/- 5 days in Shanghai if you are up to that much more. Gonna mail another package tomorrow–not much accumulated but I am near a post office and have no room to spare–all this luggage is getting tiring–in BKK I will store much of it. My camcorder screen is almost a total goner- -difficult to take shots–and I cannot review to edit –so less pics– hope you have many. Will check in again manana.
b

B
I don’t have any pics…just enjoyed my stay in Quindao without being Ms. tourist. And second day here my little camera got picked out of my jacket pocket…I know because my pen and reading glasses were in same pocket and they all came up missing later…it happened late at night…was walking all around the area of the Hilton Hotel looking for that little country inn I saw advertised in the China newspaper…never did find it. Guess I better get out the video camera…

Have you heard from Josh…I have emailed him but haven’t heard from him for weeks…

I now have hi speed internet in my room…was worthwhile asking…4 yuan an hour.
E

E
Sat Nov 6
good morning
Last night while doing my email chores was hit with an overwhelming feeling of fatigue–then chills and sweats thru the night–had diarrhea much of yesterday so suspect GI is the focus–not doing too well–diarrhea about every third day with cramps–had a couple of close calls while on buses–such are the battles!!! At any rate had planned on leaving here (yangshou) today but have apprehension about getting on a bus for 3-4 hrs–so will hang out here today and see how things are tomorrow–always feel there is some sort of a deadline but that is due to years of conditioning–have to stop and readjust to fact that there is no hurry getting anywhere. Better to smell the roses…

Sorry about your camera–it also was insured but may not be worth hassle of police reports etc–you decide. Room rate at Admiral in BKK must be for one of the more upscale rooms– cheaper not available? Also at this time of year rates go up in Thailand. At http://www.asiatravel.com there are many serviced apartments but I never know re location–but take a look. I will be knocking on your door sometime Mon. afternoon unless catastrophe strikes–may not have email access between now and then…
see ya soon
B